You Are Your Own Inspiration

My intentions when I began this blog were to share the lessons I have learned with others so that their lessons may not have to be so hard. I realized today when I saw a friend's blog that I've not been paying attention to mine so much. So many things have happened since I started this a short while ago. Ups and downs and major events.

Today, my FaceBook post was, "I'm going to need some inspiration to make it through the day". The response? "You just have to dig deep. You are your own inspiration. - Evil Shenanigans" True words from a true friend. Another true friend, Summer Bitches, wrote, "If you aren't inspired, how will anyone else be inspired? You are MY inspiration..." *click* I bet these amazing women have no idea that they inspire me. How can this be? Then I began to think about all the other amazing people I have in my life. Each individual brings with them a warmth and a strength that is absolutely beautiful. And it reminded me of why I do what I do and where my heart truly is.

Direction of play from the top:

Summer Bitches, One Classy Bitch, Evil Shenanigans, Me

We all struggle a bit from time to time to stay focused on who and what and where we want to be. This is normal. It's easy to get so wrapped up in the day to day of your life that the big picture gets a bit fuzzy and you forget to look around. But if you remember to stop every so often (schedule it in if you must), and keep your eyes and your heart open you'll keep that fire within lit.

So it's time for me to get back to my inspirations. In skating and in life. Nothing worth having comes easy, this I know to be true.

Peace, love and happiness!

It's About Getting Back Up

My mama told me there'd be days like this. When nothing seems to go right, you can't focus on a single task, and it seems like everyone is picking on you. It's hard enough to make it to the end of the day, but even harder to get up the next morning and try to start over. Sometimes those days turn into two or three days...sometimes even weeks. Keeping a positive attitude seems impossible, and you just want to crawl under your covers and wait till the sun comes out (or rain, in my case...I love the rain).

There have certainly been times in my skating when I didn't think I could find the strength to strap my skates on. Let's face it, when you are part of a group of strong women, there are times when not everyone will see eye to eye. It could be the training plan, organizational issues, or not feeling appreciated or understood by a team mate. There are moments when giving up and walking away seems like an option. Maybe not one you necessarily want to take, but an option nonetheless.

This is the time when you have to reevaluate what you are doing and why. You need to look at the good and bad of the situation and figure out which one is worth more to you. Find your strength to be really honest with yourself and make a decision that is best for you.

When skating with a league, as in life, it's not about getting knocked down, it's about getting back up. All you have to do is get up one time more than you get knocked down and you will have succeeded. When you find the strength to make it to a practice when you really don't want to go, and you tell yourself to stand up after you just got knocked on your toosh, you are succeeding. Don't concentrate on what you want to happen, concentrate on what is happening right now. Look around for your support, whether it be a teammate reaching out her hand or a friend waiting with kind words. When you realize you have support, getting back up is a smidge easier. You may think you don't have the strength within yourself, but knowing there are others there to give you a hand, a shoulder to cry on, and a listening ear will help you find your strength. Most of all, trust yourself to do what is right. When you do this, you always have the strength you need to get back up.

Peace, love and happiness!

Some Hits Are Harder Than Others

In derby, you learn to take all kinds of hits. If you play derby long enough, you'll eventually get hit on every part of your body. Sometimes it's intentional, sometimes it's not. These are the figurative hits. Then there are the hits that you can feel in places others can't see. You take hits to your ego, your character and your personal goals. It's not a surprise they say that you have to grow a thick skin to play derby...and if you have a thick skin, you better grow a thicker one. The hits that are hardest for me to take are more literal...they are the hits to my heart.

You know the ones I'm talking about. These are the ones that literally break your heart a little. Whether it be finding out you didn't make the team you wanted (or a team at all) or making a mistake in a bout that left you feeling like you were the reason your team lost by one point. These hits are hard because they can shake the very core of you and leave you doubting yourself.

The hardest hit for me is finding out someone is not who I thought they were. I'm very careful in choosing friends because I've been burned quite a number of times. So when I feel like I really know someone and can call them a friend, it's been after spending time with them and feeling like I really know what they stand for. Unfortunately, sometimes I'm wrong and it leads to disappointment, sadness and a little (sometimes not so little) crack in my heart.

HOWEVER...all you can really do is accept that there are times when you will be disappointed in life and move forward. "But Jedder," you ask, "It hurts so much I can't stand it. How am I ever going to move forward?" This is when you really need to focus on appreciating what you have NOW and not dwell on what you have lost. Look around and count the things that make you smile. It won't take long before you see that you are surrounded by people and places that make your heart sing. Start vocalizing your gratitude and appreciation for the positive people in your life, encourage others to do their best, and dance with them when they take a step toward reaching their goals. CELEBRATE life and all the things about it that make you happy. Most of all, be true to yourself and you can get through anything.

Peace, love and happiness!

Becoming Jedi Nightmare

Every skaters' journey starts somewhere. For me, it started with watching a bout in a nearby city. I sat in the stands, drank a beer, and was completely engulfed in the moment. I, like so many other skaters who's dream started this way, was immediately hooked. It was like I suddenly realized the meaning of life!

I joined the newly forming local league before I even had skates. I just wanted to be at the practices, interacting with my future team mates. When I got my first pair of skates a month later, I felt so free. I was excited, nervous, optimistic and scared out of my pants all at the same time. I knew it would be hard work, but I would do everything I could to be the best skater I could be.

Two years later, and through a few setbacks and new opportunities, I am well on my way. I've met many people along my journey, learned something from every one of them, and know that I still have a long way to go. Through this blog I plan to share pieces of my journey and the lessons I have learned along the way. My hope is that other skaters will be able to learn from my lessons as well, and that non-skaters can apply those lessons to their lives.

We are all working to be a better version of ourselves. Through skating, I am accomplishing that.

Peace, love and happiness!